We all live in turbulent and uneasy times. The Covid-19 pandemic and the war in Ukraine disclosed that people are deeply divided and fight about many different things that they cannot even control. Sometimes we can’t even come to an agreement with our closest friends and family. Times like this often make us feel lonely and rejected, releasing massive amounts of negative energy which is further converted into stress, anxiety, anger, frustration or even depression.

We are all aware that we don’t have any influence on certain events and cannot control them, but still, we continue to get angry and frustrated. This only causes problems to pile over our head and eventually they become unbearable. We start to feel miserable and call sense of life into question. This is just a simple recipe for destruction.

Pain and suffering are already a natural part of life, so why add more? We suffer when we get old, when we face sickness, or when we face death. Pain is also caused by simple human feelings like longing grief or sadness. Isn’t that enough?

So here is the question – Can we overcome our own pain and misery? The answer is yes. We need to look closer at the concept of acceptance that comes with help for us.

We must understand acceptance as the way of life. We can think of it as an attribute that always helps us see a light at the end of a tunnel. Thanks to this, we can often start over, see new possibilities or find a spiritual strength to deal with piling problems.   

Of course, this is not an easy process. You must go deep inside your soul, admit, and believe that life can be beautiful sometimes, and bitter the other time. Sometimes even tragic. Problems are an independent part of the life. This is the true nature of life and there is no other relief like simply just accepting the fact.

As soon as you accept it, you can see that we are really the one who define what constitutes a “problem” and what does not. This acceptance will set you free from the piled up stress and concerns.

However, there is one very important thing you have to remember. You cannot confuse this acceptance with passivity or consent to everything that is wrong, bad, unethical or inadmissible.

The idea of this concept is to give you a certain level of consciousness by which you can regain control over your life and shape your fate. True acceptance will help you open your eyes and heart, accept the painful nature of life and prepare you for the oncoming storm. You can try to solve the problems when they come. Appreciate all good things no matter how small, and indulge in happiness when even better things come along.

To summarize, we can present the idea of acceptance as the following statement:  Every problem has a solution. If there is no solution, there is no problem.

So it is time to stop torturing yourself with things you cannot change or control. It is time to accept them and regain your faith and joie de vivre. Let me quote here the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

If you would like to investigate this topic more thoroughly, please refer to Radical Acceptance Therapy which was designed to help you accept everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or push-back.

In the meantime, please join our discussion regarding acceptance at www.bctalk.ca discussion forum.